These words might never reach you. And even if they do, you might never take the time to read them all. But how else will you know you broke my heart? You shattered my spine, I couldn’t get back up. You made me cry for days on end. And on most mornings, when the sun was out and about, I couldn’t breathe, I couldn’t get out of bed because it felt like an entire building collapsed on me. It felt like if my feet hit the ground they would crumble.
If you never read these words, how else will you know that I almost loved you. I almost gave you the very breath within my lungs. How will you know that you were magic to me, that wish after wish upon shooting stars formed you. If you never read these words, how else will you ever know that my heart beat sang your name, that your eyes looked a lot like home. How will you know that each time you held me, my heart had reason to beat, you made me want to live. Your laugh was a sound I was willing to listen to for the rest of my life. You mimicked the sky, just when I thought things were ending, up came the stars to show me that there will always be light, I just needed some darkness to notice it.
But you were not the moon, because one day you left the sky and never came back. One day turned to one month which turned to endless days I couldn’t even count anymore. Your silence killed me in ways you might never understand. Ways I can’t even explain. You hurt me in ways I wanted to hurt myself, I cried my self to sleep, I spent my days in bed trying to keep myself sane, trying to keep shreds of myself alive. Trying to keep myself alive. You made me want to die, literally. I felt like I couldn’t live anymore, I felt everything around me fall and crumble I felt my whole existence fade into the nothingness of the voids.
I almost loved you, I was willing to love you. But you left, and you took the air with you, you took the colors with you, you even took the sun. But no, I do not want you back, because you never should have left in the first place.