Dear Alley,

There are a million reasons why I can’t seem to foget about you. Everything reminds me of you. When I take a breath I remember “hey Alley used to like breathing, he’d always say he’d die if he didn’t “. Songs, places, memories. You’re etched in the front of my mind, the lids of my eyes. I see the sun, and I remember how we took summer walks. I see a cloudy sky and remember how when I shivered ever so slighty you offered me your Jersey without a doubt . You’re like a tattoo, I could cover you up with makeup or clothes, but that doesn’t mean you cease to exist. There are times you feel like cancer, killing me slowly but surely and painlessly. I’ve tried to cure myself of you, but chemo is killing me faster. Oh Alley, I lay in bed and it feels like my death bed, it feels like I might breathe my last anytime from now. Why couldn’t your imperfections make us perfect. Why couldn’t you fit the equivalent of Cinderella’s glass slipper? I needed you in more ways than I ever knew was humanly possible. I text you a thousand times and another million in my head. I can go a day without texting you, then go on a binge for a week. You’re not strong enough to be my weakness, so I don’t know what you are. But what I do is, I can’t forget, the Lord knows I’ve tried.

Yours Stiil, LadyP




*this is the launch of my mew writing series,”Letters To ALLEN,[the ones i could never send]”