I don’t know how to not love you.
You have been my definition of love, you were everything I needed love to be. Our love was always meant to be, from the very beginning. It wasn’t love at first sight, but that our love was inevitable -KoiNoYokan-
I met you and my life up until that moment faded away. My scars healed, my wounds didn’t ache anymore. Everything I had ever been through prepared me for this moment. When I would look into your eyes and realize their shade of brown is all I ever wanted. In that moment, i saw the galaxy unfold before me. I saw beauty in humanity. You, were not only my first love, but my redemption. For in your love I found love.
I found a home in your smile, the way you said my name, like a whisper to the stars as it kissed your lips. You saw my imperfections and still chose me, no one else ever did. I was broken and mangled, but you showed me that broken crayons still color. You saw my tears and stretch marks and still told me I’m beautiful. I showed you my monsters and demons and you kissed me like my lips were air and you couldn’t breathe.
You looked at me with love when I refused to believe you loved me. You stayed when I pushed you away. You fought for me on days when I had given up. On days when we fought you’d never let me walk away mad, even when I hurt you,you told me I’m the only one that could heal you.
You loved me like each moment was our last. Each day you looked at me like I was a walking melody.
Yes there where times you made my heart bleed, I made yours ache. But we always found a way. When storms came we anchored to each other. We danced in the rain and let the stars watch us fall in love everyday.
Our first kiss, you held me so close I couldn’t tell where I ended and you began. That was the first time I ever kissed someone and tasted the moon-Until I kissed him and he smelt of midnight and stardust-but somehow you’re still in the way. I don’t know how to not love you. I have loved you for half a decade, I had given you my all.
I will have to break my heart to let you out. I will have to rip apart everything I know, tear down my walls. I have always been afraid to stop loving you because I don’t know if anyone else ever will. If I’ll ever be enough, if I won’t be “too”much. So I cover up my skin, I hide my tears, because what happens if I show him my colors and they aren’t his shade. Or if my skin isn’t thick enough cause I bleed to easily. I don’t know how to not love you, because I don’t know if I’ll be loved again.